The Day I Talked to a Dragonfly
The Day I Talked to a Dragonfly. (long but worth it!)
The Day I Talked to a Dragonfly. (long but worth it!)
So, of course you guys remember I lost my son Conner in 2016. #worstnightmare
Well, Conner (supposedly) came through (via a Medium in Salem) to one of my best friends back in October of 2018. (I wrote a two-part blog about it.)
Anywhooo...this Medium told my friend a lot of things that only Conner, myself or his sisters would've known. #wth
IT. WAS. PRETTY. FREAKY. 😭💜
At the end of the session, the Medium said, "Oh. Conner's symbol is a dragonfly." (I think you all know where this is going...)
Ever since then, when I see a dragonfly, I think of Conner. That's kind of sweet, I think. #butstillaskeptic
A couple of weeks ago, after having spent a day or two at a friend's home (alone), I felt more at peace and more tranquility than I had since the death of my son, Conner.
I.
WAS.
AMAZED.
I actually felt so strongly about it, that I messaged both of my friends (the husband and wife homeowners) to tell them how grateful I was to be staying at their place and how much peace I was finding there. This is the beauty of true friends. I'm so grateful.
The next day, I was in the pool (yes, the pool) 😉
I was at one end of the pool and noticed a dragonfly circling above over the middle of pool.
Of course, in that moment, I thought of Conner. 💜 This dragonfly circled and circled.
I was doing a little water aerobics, because that's what all the cool kids are doing these days, so I watched while I was working out. 💪 I remember thinking, 'That is strange. I thought dragonflies liked to flit about from here to there and rather quickly.'
But, not this dragonfly. Circling. Circling. Circling.
Me: Watching. Watching. Watching.
Until it finally flew away. And....THAT. WAS. THAT. Or was it?
Nope. By this time, I was taking a break I had my elbow on the side of the pool, while my body was still in the pool. What the shit! If that dragonfly (well, "A" dragonfly) landed on the side of the pool and just sat there. Right next to me.
Here I was. Eye-to-eye with a dragonfly.
'Conner?'
I stared. The dragonfly stared. I stared. The dragonfly stared.
What the hell? I began talking to this god damn dragonfly.
['oh shit,' I think, 'I'm losing my mind.']
This dragonfly just sits there, and I say, "What the hell? What're you doing? Oh my God. Conner?"
['ohmygod I am really losing it.']
The dragonfly just sits there. While I am talking to it. Eye. TO. EYE. WITHADRAGONFLY.
It was a really long time. So, what else was I going to do but ask questions…
“Conner? Is that you?"
"Ohmygod. I'm going crazy.”
"Why are you still here? I didn't think dragonflies liked to just sit."
"Ohmygod. No one is going to believe this."
"This is so freaky."
"What the fuck?"
THIS. WENT. ON.....and on....and on....That dragonfly JUST. SAT. THERE. 🤯
And, I kept talking...
"Okay -- now I'm freaking out. This is so crazy. Conner?"
Something had to give.🤔So...I placed my hand (palm down) on the side of the pool, and I said, "Conner. If it's you sit on the back of my hand."
WHAT. THE. BLOODY HELL? That dragonfly SAT. ON. MY. HAND.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I BEGAN TO SOB. Then I really thought I'd lost my mind.
Through my sobs, while in the pool, WHILE this dragonfly is sitting on the back of my hand...I said, "Ohmygod. What the fuck? Ohmygod...CONNER? holy shit. No one will believe this. Conner. It's you? AM I GOING CRAZY?"
People, I am sobbing uncontrollably with a diggity-dang dragonfly sitting on the back of my hand.
"OHMYGOD CONNER, I MISS YOU SO MUCH," I say.
I remember saying something like, "Well, this world is shit, so I can understand why you left." (made myself chuckle a bit). I also said, "I'm fine. I am okay. I'll be okay, just please watch over your sisters and Sagan and Emmalyn." (then the dragonfly seemingly danced on the top of my hand!)
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THIS. WENT. ON. FOR. A. LONG. TIME.
Then, I stopped crying and was just talking. "Is Travis here?" (the dragonfly's wings opened and closed) 😲
I began rambling: "I need to take a picture of this. No I shouldn't take any pictures. This is a special moment. But, no one will believe me. That's okay. Is it okay if I take a picture?" [seriously losing it]
Still. The dragonfly is on the back of my hand.
I decided that I must be going crazy and I think I just needed that feeling to either be discounted or confirmed, and my camera could help.
I said to the dragonfly: "Meet me back here, if I can take your picture."
WTF? I'm making plans with a dragonfly.
Think about the timing of this, my friends:
I swam to the other end of the pool.
I got out of the pool.
I retrieved my towel.
I retrieved my phone.
I walked back to the end of the pool where I was chatting with a dragonfly.
I took probably three minutes to prop my phone up, check to make sure my hand would be in the frame, turn the video on, walk back to the stairs and get into the pool again.
I then swam BACK to the side of the pool where I had earlier been chit-chatting with a dragonfly.
I placed my hand back on the side of the pool...and what do you think happened next? 😲😭🤯