No Lie...Grief is Uncomfortable.

OMG, YOU BROUGHT UP GRIEF? How rude. Haha Now, imagine someone running away and never wanting to talk to you again. Ever.

Death, grief, loss, and the aftermath are such taboo and uncomfortable topics for many people and in many parts of the world (I’m looking at you, America) 

People seem reluctant to acknowledge and discuss death and grief because these are uncomfortable topics. I agree. Grief is uncomfortable, but so is pushing a baby out of a vagina and that happens about 12,000 times a minute. I’ll just leave that there. 

Grief is a double-edged sword: if you’re the one who’s experienced the loss, what you need is support, patience, and sensitivity; you need understanding, space, and hugs; you need time alone and time with your family. Needs are, of course, subjective. What helps one person is vastly different from what helps another person. If you’re the one grieving, it’s important to be honest with those around you about what you need and what you don’t need! For example, NO ONE who is struggling with a devastating loss should ever be told, “you should be over this now.” (WTF?)

Whether you need to use an “F-bomb” or not, the goal is to be as clear as possible with your loved ones and others who are trying to support you. For example, if you need quiet time, say that. Repeat after me: “I need quiet time.” See? Wasn’t that easy? ;)

If you need time together, ask for that. If you need to stay in bed and pull the covers over your head, say that. Be honest. No one can read your mind. (OMG, or can they?).

On the other side of the coin, if you are the one supporting a grieving partner, family member, co-worker, neighbor, or friend, it’s important for you to gather the tools required so you are equipped to offer support.

In this situation, search engines and resource sites (like this one) are your friend! It’s important to listen to your person’s needs and navigate accordingly; you’ll need to be able to offer support, patience, sensitivity, understanding, space, hugs or whatever (within reason) your person wants and needs.  I mean, I once asked one of my best friends to push me in front of a train. So, just saying, that is definitely NOT “within good reason.”