Part 1: What Prince Harry and I Have in Common

The Day I Lost my sHiT

60,825,600 seconds, 1,013,760 minutes, 16,896 hours, 704 days ago, the day after “thanksgiving” 2016, Austin, Texas. MY. WORLD. WAS. SHATTERED.

My son Conner. GONE. My heart was split. The light in my soul extinguished.

I was lost. But…My girls. My granddaughter. (grandson was yet to come) My friends.

The darkness. The sadness. The black hole. My supporters. My “circle.” My Angels.

Whirlwind. Visits. Food. Wine. Cards. Books. Hugs. Notes. Texts. Calls.

A beautiful Celebration of Life. Truly honoring Conner’s short but outstanding life.

“The best worst thing ever.”

Tears. Despair. Pain. BLACK. HOLE. There is no “why.” I'm alone.

Me: “How do I go on?” Me: “Figure it out.”

RESEARCH. READ. Research. Read.

Nothing. Makes. Sense.

WRITE. Write. WRiTe. Publish.

Done. Speak. Help. Honor. DONE.

Speak. Help. Write. Educate.

Honor your son -- this makes sense

Listen. Help. Speak. Educate. Help. Honor.

Yes. This is it!

Guided by Grief.

This. IS. IT.

“Change the conversation about grief from private, ugly & uncomfortable to OPEN, NORMAL & SUPPORTIVE.”

And, now it’s a movement.

Two more (VERY) dramatic plot twists, and I am in Switzerland.

In the last 8 months, I’ve had the good fortunate of traveling far and wide.

New cultures. Fabulous foods. Interesting places. Beautiful scenery.

I’ve had the good fortune to enjoy experiences only found in dreams.

I’ve had the misfortune to endure an experience of every parent’s worst nightmare.

Fortunes mixed.

The hole in my heart remains, but I’ve been fulfilled in many ways, so I’m “good,” right?

I’m doing good work. I’m helping people. I’m supporting others. I’m educating about grief and loss. I’m living a life that honors my son by continuing his loving, sensitive, accepting, kind and supportive ways. So...I’m “good,” right?

wRoNG.

I lost my sHiT.